To become

I do not remember if it was the summer of 2004 or 2005. My then boyfriend and i were driving along East Frisian roads in the north of Germany. It was already dark, solitary trees and houses were flying by. The roads were empty, it was a late summer night. We were both quiet, listening to an album that Till's father had left in the car. It were piano pieces by Ludovico Einaudi. They provided the perfect soundtrack to our journey. Since, Ludovico Einaudi's music has often been the soundtrack to my living. Again and again i consciously choose his compositions, listening to the La Scala and Una Mattina albums.

Today, while i was sitting in the café of the Lakeside Theatre, reading a paper and sipping over a cup of hot chocolate, comforting music was playing in the background. It sounded like a soundtrack to my being there; piano, strings. I enjoyed it. When the staff girl closed the shop down i asked her about the sound. When she told me it was Ludovico and it turned out we share a love for his compositions we were happy. How did i not recognise his tunes myself? Anyways, the girl had the Divenire ('To Become') album playing.

Back in my office, i searched for 'Divenire' on youtube. Listening to this piece, i realised it was playing with a familiar theme of my favourite song of his. The two songs are similar, but still different. I am intrigued and i see it as a sign at this moment, here and now, in my life.

I am being and i will become. At one moment in the future we and all other matter will have become iron atoms floating in equal distance through space. This will be after we have all exploded and burnt with our sun, and maybe more suns thereafter. It will be the moment when the Universe will have dispersed far and wide, to a state quite impossible to imagine. This image, this truth has become one of the most comforting thoughts in my life. Whatever is now, it is. It is constant change. It is evergrowing expansion. And we will be and we will become.