Of Lost & Found

Since long long time i listened to Rachael Yamagata again tonight while i was working on little arts projects in my warm cozy home, emptying a glass of red French wine.  I am not quite sure what reminded me of Rachael right now and made me listen back. I discovered her music in 2008, got all her albums from Amoeba, and was really excited when her show was announced for San Francisco in spring 2009. Her songs had been such sweet company all fall and winter, i had simply fallen for her. But the actual show -- it was a washout, at least for me. I still don't quite know what it was, something in her demeanor, the way she talked about her songs, how i felt she took her music less seriously than i did, joking here and there, again and again, singing with less heart then i was expecting her to. Her songs are pieces of art - so full of emotion, wit, passion, love and lost. I sometimes wonder about the experiences that made her write those songs, feeling that she is putting into music what i hide in my journal. That night in SF i found myself wishing she would not talk at all, just sing. At some point i left. I knew if i stayed she would ruin it for me. [I am quite surprised at my own words here, but it is exactly what i felt that night...] And, yes, for quite a while i did not listen to her music. And, oh, right here, right now, while writing this i am reminded of how i remembered her today. I was on my bike, riding into town to get a few things. It was already late dusk, the streets wet, the air fresh and moist, stationary and motion lights everywhere. I was speeding forward on my bike, and all of a sudden caught myself singing "If the elephants had past lives yet are destined to always remember, it's no wonder how they scream, like you and i they must have some temper ..." It came from nowhere, i was quite surprised and took it as a calling. How many times did i spent on the floor, lights out, music on loud, with that song? I have no idea. But i was reassured of the beauty tonight.

This is another such piece ...