This, too, is powerful.

Life makes me one happy enfant terrible.

Local incubation and silent hibernation do me well. Breaks are so powerful. They stop us when we are going too fast or are having too much. They help us practice the third parami of renunciation. They allow us to look back and also to see how things really are, maybe lifting a beautiful veil off our eyes.

In all this, i have been and am living. Conscious to my breathing, getting lost in anapana, and beyond. Amazed at being able to cry and laugh at the same time. Walking the path dawn, day, dusk and night, silently, smilingly, with all attention turned inwards, accompanied by the stars, the moon, the sun and the clouds. Surfing waves of love, surprise and compassion while welcoming in the lessons of each and every moment. Gratefully acknowledging the peace that resides within me. Gratefully receiving the change that always is.

Let me tell you that not so long ago i rejoiced over one of the most delicious pieces of poppy and lemon cake. It was a single feast, although my increasingly smaller tummy was not able to finish. What a realisation how much one can consciously renounce on food and still keep going going going... Also, i almost cheered loudly that Day 6 when i caught myself yawning so heftily on a stroll, had i not vowed to observe Noble Silence. For days on end i had been running on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, without ever growing tired. Oh, and that moment in the cell when i stuffed a cushion onto my mouth, tightly closing my lips, because i got overpowered by one sudden crazy giggle? It felt priceless. The same as that one evening at tea, sitting outside and alone on a bench, the sun just set, and suddenly a cuddly fluffy tiger jumped into my lap, purr purr purr..., and we secretly - me so very quietly - engaged in the world's most fulfilling sensual pleasures, consciously ignoring the seventh precept. I observed how i write and recite poems in my head - truly 'by heart', because i had no pen and paper. My head - to me - seems like one busy beehive. I chuckled quite some while attempting to tame that "wild elephant bull".

Therefore, on a totally different note, do you also think the Euro will crash this year? I am so tired of our economy. All my hopes are with Felix that he will make us turn the game around. Superwoman Su is feeding me the powers and treasures of her kitchen. So, yes, Ida, i am eating as now half of Liverpool St station should be happy to hear. I am still lying and relaxing on spikes, making myself a fakir par excellence. I decided to grow stock in flexibility. And, i am still the clumsy happy oddball at the far left end of the dance floor. (Although, just coming to learn that clumsiness magically dissipates when dancing right behind the teacher. It must be some kind of metaphysical energy flow that is benefitting body awareness and coordination between the brain and the far off ends of the four extremities. Also, that energy equally quickly dissipates when a video camera is pointed at the dance squad.)

So, nothing much changed,
and still i feel all different,
in a very good way.